SADDAM, BIN LADEN AND HITLER

Interview with Lanie, Burn’s ‘gimmee’ cousin (From Burn’s World)

(Warning: will only make sense if you have read the Burn’s World series. Or if you’ve had more than nine strawberry daiquiris)

Lanie: “Before you ask any questions, I have to ask – what the hell is wrong with a bandage skirt? A bandage dress? Huh? Why is Eve Rabi making such a big thing about it? So what if I wanted avocado-green and not plain-green for my wedding? And what is wrong with pewter, Eve Rabi? And how dare you refer to me as a ‘gimmee’ child?

You have some nerve. I guess you’re from South Africa – we all know what they say about South Africans, don’t we?”

Interviewer: “Eve Rabi lives in Sydney. What do they say about South …?”

Lanie: “Okay so you live in Sydney – don’t you have bandage skirts there, Eve Rabi? Huh? Well, I mean, I have to excuse you cos we all know what they about Australia now, don’t we? Huh, huh?”

Interviewer: “Eh, moving on …can we address the allegations that you were unfaithful to Matt during your marriage.”

Lanie. “What? That never happened.”

Interviewer: “Can you explain how you gave birth to a black baby? When both you and your husband are white?”

Lanie: (Throws her hands out.)  “Maybe someone took advantage of me while I was…

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SADDAM, BIN LADEN AND HITLER